dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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