awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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