Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The beer is more important than you right now.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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