My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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