dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
