Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
