Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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