This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
