They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
