please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
