I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
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Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
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He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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