If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My pussy is not your playground.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize