sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
