Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
