I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
