This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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