C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
is wine microwaveable?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
