I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
we made out on top of his cat.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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