Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
