so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
