His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's blow job season.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
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drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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