Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
