Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
