I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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