ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
