Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
