My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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