just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
