Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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