I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
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