I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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