biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
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He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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