my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
