Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
