What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
