honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
