wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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