Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize