Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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