moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
