Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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