Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
