Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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