i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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