She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
