I think I died a long time ago.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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