I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
