Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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