Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
