the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
