we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
