my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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