your parents love me but you hate me
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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