I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize