I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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