she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
