I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
