I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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