I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
