ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
