Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
